It's been like a total shit storm in these past 2 weeks. School started, and I absolutely hate it. The teachers... the people. I just don't feel like dealing with it.
And then there is something going on with Amy. I don't even know what. I feel like she has abandomed me, like a dog. I don't want to deal with losing her, but if she is going to continue being like this... then it would be better to get over her now. I don't want to dig the wound any deeper, I want it to get better.
And I finally broke down and started talking to Sam again. I don't feel like I'm friends with her, but she feels like she is friends with me. I don't want to hurt her like she hurt me. That wouldn't make me any better than her. I feel like she really used me. And she keeps trying to tell me things about a certain someone. Like I want to know. And I promise I don't.
For the first time ever, I honestly want him dead. Just off of this Earth. I could take everything to court and ruin the rest of his life, but that would mean that I would have to deal with him. I just want it all to go away.
And I said I was going to church tonight. But the truth is, I don't feel like it. I don't feel like listening to someone rave and rant about religious bullshit.
I believe that people exist, and that is pretty much it. Maybe there is a diety, and maybe it is all a sick joke. One day we will find out. But I really think people should respect everyone's beliefs. And they shouldn't force their beliefs on anyone else.
The Enddddd.
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