It always happens to me. If something is good, I screw it up. I guess that is just my luck. But I am really trying to avoid that. Im off of sex ;) Just like in Juno. Not because I'm pregnant, but because I have enough going on in my life. I dont need extra complications.
So, there is this girl. And I happen to be completely dependant on her. But she isn't my mother... in fact she isn't even related to me. I depend on her for advice, happiness, and love. I know I count on her too much. But you see, this girl isn't your ordinary chick. There is something really special about her. She is the only person that understands me from the core, and she doesn't put up with my bullshit. She actually deals with me. Most people look the other way because they don't feel like fighting with me, but not this girl. And I really appreciate her for that.
I can't imagine what I would do without her. I really don't want to think about it. It would be horendous if she ever stopped talking to me, caring about me, dealing with me and loving me. It would most likely lead me to my death. And it wouldn't be her fault. Only mine, for falling completely in love with her. Not a romantic love... simply a platonic one.
Lately I've been thinking about growing old. It is a scary thought that I am almost half way through high school. Then I will be in college and working. I have no earthly idea what I would like to do with the rest of my life. I love literature, but I have no clue how to turn that into a career. I want to marry a good man, one that really cares about me. But I'm sure that he will want children. And pregnancy is another one of those scary things about growing up. Becoming responsible for another human life. I don't know if I can do it, or if I would even want to.
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